Having exhausted my creative energies yesterday in posting a blog that basically said “Hey, this is my new blog”, I did what everyone do when they struggle with difficult spellings, obscure references and unsatisfactory erections. I went looking for help online.
By which I meant I went to Reddit to look at cat pictures and laugh at Donald Trump. But after four hours, there were no excuses left, so I typed “writer’s block, need ideas”. The internet responded in quantity, if not quality.
Deluged with ideas, but not a single one of them usable, I did the only thing I could do. I decided to blog about the stupidest ones.
Seriously. This was the first one. Their genius solution to writers block – pay people to participate in stupid games. Fuck you, if I had that kind of money I wouldn’t be blogging in the first place!
Do you even understand how bloggers operate? It’s 1 am. I am trying to type as quietly as possible because the missus is sleeping. My only interview subjects are the missus, who would answer every question by throwing things at my head if I woke her up, and a picture of a cat in another tab.
Wait, what? Of course, lot’s of couples don’t have children, but why would they need special recipes? To mourn? Celebrate? What kind of recipes do couples without children need? This is like a sadder version of microwave meals for one.
Am I back in school with one of those stupid “autobiography” essays? Is this some sort of a “Are you smarter than a fourth grader” thing? Here’s a one line blog – If I were a television producer I would do my job and go home, just like I do now. Why are you making me pretend I have jobs I dont?
This is good. This is really good. I love the ballsiness of it, if nothing else. “Hey, do you have writers block? Why don’t you write a blog about how you can get others to do your work for ya!”
Because 8 hours of me staring at my screen at work is going to be totally fascinating, yo.